Light at the end of the tunnel

So i made it out...barely alive, but alive none the less.

It is currently ten to midnight on wednesday the 14th, im sitting at my kitchen table enjoying quinoa cereal with vanilla almond milk, slightly distracted by the noise of my laundry machine. kind of cool to think about though. i always wondered how cool it would feel to be in my own apartment one day washing my clothes and being a grown up. it doesnt feel that cool. i would say i wish i could go back and tell myself that its not that cool, but really... why? it was something to anticipate. on to the next!

since my last post, shit has not escaped the fan, but honestly more has added itself to it. I made the mistake of letting my hair dresser make my hair brown. it was great but... MAN... i am not a brunette. i've had dark brown hair before but i was already aware of how much more fun blondes have, and i was not in the the right mind set to be playing around with my hair color. but all is fixed, i am back to me. Salon Nuda, my friend Leroy fixed me. I had promised my hair dressed i would let her fix it but i had a pretty damn good deal with my friend so... oops? what ever..the point is that i feel good about myself again. MY medication phase is over and i'm slowly dropping the weight it caused me to gain. I tried to put on a pair of jeans yesterday and they did not want to button :( i refuse to buy larger pants! i know i can fit in them so i will wait it off and wear leggings until my jeans button. i love leggings. i bought 110$ of vichy skin care products to fix my stress break outs. it seems to be working so im glad. 

Last month: 15 pounds heavier, brunette, bad skin, sad me.

This month: still 5 pounds heavier (not bad), blond :), skin improving, positive me.

Although i just finished 28 days of work in a row and got a cold, i'm feeling rather content with myself, today especially. maybe because i went shopping? shoes do heal you. and nice shirts too :)  (p.s i bought leggings again...I JUST LOVE LEGGINGS) I've been asked to be part of two different photo shoots in the up coming month so i really need to get my shit together. I'm super excited about them. I love being photographed. It's like acting but in still shots. ahh i love it. i got some photos back from a shoot i did for my friend Tanya Hall. She's pretty damn incredible.

And we did a random shoot with her film camera while we were partying at hotel de la montagne. a bunch of my friends and i were running around the streets and the hotel and Tanya had her awesome camera and was able to capture some great summer memories.

Other then that, I'm also working on getting some closure or maybe even mending relationships that crashed and burned. I have 3 that i would like to fix. Just for my own peace of mind really to know what my part was and how i can make it neutral grounds. Speaking of relationships, i am officially in a new one. I've been seeing someone for about 3 months now and its pretty amazing. i always knew i would call the right people into my life when i needed them. and right now, i need him. I need to learn confrontation and dealing with hard headed men and men with tempers and how to stand strong. 

But he's not only good for my life lessons. he's adorable and makes me laugh and makes me accept myself the way i am and i can act like a kid around him and he laughs and we can dress up and go out to dinner and be fancy adults and cuddle and watch movies and constantly try to impress each other and surprise each other. He's exactly what i want and need right now.

This is my first week off in a month. i'm taking the time to catch up on some rest. and getting a few things done like a hair cut, a massage, a facial probably a many-pedi. REST AND RELAXATION. Also i really need to go see my mom. I dont remember the last time i saw her. actually i do but i was over swimming in the pool. so that means i'm way over do for some mommy time.

Hi mom :) 

Ah. another emotional puke session. I guess thats what a blog is for though no?

Now everybody go listen to some dubstep. HA. yes. i like dub.

LEGGINGSSSSS